Something I try to do is journal the blessings in our lives. All too often when things get hard, I tend to forget all the amazing blessings and specific ways Jesus has answered our prayers. This week we had an answer to our prayers that was so undeniably the miraculous work of The Great Physician that we feel we need to shout it from the rooftops!
About 20 weeks into my pregnancy with Maryn, our dr. detected fluid on her heart. It was concerning enough for her to refer us to get a "mega" ultrasound in Everett. After 2 "mega" ultrasounds, the experts believed the fluid to not be increasing, therefore, not a huge concern, just something to watch over time.
When Maryn was born, the pediatrician could not detect a heart murmur. "She's healed!" was what we were thinking. Relief flooded my mind and calmed some of the anxious thoughts I had since that first detection of fluid. About one week after birth the doctor heard a very strong murmur that both Josh and I could hear even with our untrained ears. She referred us to Seattle Children's right away. So, at one week old, baby Maryn had a complete work up of her heart. The anxiety and complete despair I felt watching the EKG machine, the ECHO Cardiogram, and the Xray machines do their thing to our tiny, one week old baby was overwhelming. The doctor's evaluation was one not of grave concern. He told us Maryn had fluid around her heart, 3 VSDs (holes in the bigger chambers of her heart) and she had a valve that didn't close--a genetic defect most likely shared by Josh or I. He gave us things to watch for and asked us to come back when Maryn was 9 months for another work up. He did mention that if the holes increased in size or the valve opening increased in size, we would be looking at open heart surgery.
We prayed and prayed and prayed for healing for our baby's heart. As time went on, the anxiety and stress lessened, especially since Maryn appeared to be perfectly healthy and never had a symptom the dr. mentioned. However, that nagging feeling of "what if" never quite left my head. It weighed me down and at times, completely robbed me of the freedom I have in Christ, the freedom to let Him be who He said he was in the Word and the freedom I have leaving all my concerns at His feet.
This past Wednesday we went down for Maryn's 9 month appointment. The anxiety and concern were strong again the minute we got into the car. It heightened when we walked through the doors of Children's. After the tech did the EKG, the doctor came in. Before any testing or listening to Maryn's heart he told us he would most likely hear the murmur and that those holes were most likely still there. The concern would be about the amount of blood flowing through the holes indicating the size of them. I watched his face closely as he listened to Maryn's heart. At one time, a look of confusion was there and my heart dropped, tears flooded my vision. I "knew" it was bad news. After more careful listening the doctor looked at Josh and I. I'll never forget what he said, " I can't even hear the murmur!" Those tears clouding my vision flowed freely with joy. Maryn is fine! This expert, this best in class doctor is telling us he can't hear our baby's heart murmur that was so obvious just months before. He wants to see us in 18 months to do a complete work up again, to close our case. He is not concerned at all about Maryn's heart and believes that will be our last visit with him.
We PRAISE our Father, the Great Physician, for healing our baby's heart. It is only by His hand she was healed. All glory and honor and praise we lift to Jesus. I can't help but wonder that if the news had been different, would I still be writing about praising Jesus? I hope so. I pray for that kind of faith, because, you and I both know that another storm is coming. Oh for the faith that can move mountains!
I plan to journal this incredible blessing and remember it when those storms come. I pray you too will remember that when good or bad news comes your way, you'll know and believe that God is in control, no matter what.
